How we are being manipulated
Now you can easily meet smart guys who have read books on hard sales and are ready to break the will of the first comer.
I am for protection from such figures. Therefore, I will share with you the techniques of manipulation. Learn to defend yourself and don’t let your friends get hooked.
These are the basic manipulations described by Robert Cialdini in the book “psychology of influence”. But let’s make an experiment: read the description of the manipulation technique without reading the section “Protection”. Try to guess how to defend yourself in a situation. Then check the answer in the text. The ABCs of truth are the ABCs that still work.
When we are given something, we feel obliged to give something in return. For example, immediately, without thinking, make a purchase from a friendly seller. The task of the giver is to give you the feeling that you, as an honest person, must respond with a favor.
The catch: you will be provided with a service that does not seem to be provided by this company. “Torn from the heart,” as they say.
It’s raining. Here’s an umbrella. Return it next time, no big deal. When should I expect you?” Maybe we can arrange it right away, also with delivery?
(in the furniture store) did you like our coffee? Me too, I only drink it in our kitchen. Let me get you some sleep, and you can have a drink at home.
Next time, you feel obligated. And buy.
Now think about how you would protect yourself. And only after that read the protection:
The effectiveness of this manipulation is that we decide for ourselves what we are obliged to do. And since this is our own conclusion, we defend it.
Protection – in recognizing a trick and changing your own perception. You are obliged only when you were given something sincerely, from the heart. If this is a tricky trading strategy, you don’t owe anyone anything. And you do not have a conscience, and you received a gift.
– Inna, thank you, you are very kind. It is a pity that such good sellers as you have to sell such low-quality and expensive furniture.
This is one of the options for mutual exchange. You are asked to do something that is not very suitable for you. You refuse. Then the opponent makes a concession. You do not want to offend the person and agree.
– Honey, let’s buy me this coat for 250,000
— No, it’s expensive and it’s not necessary now
“Oh, I like her so much. It’s a pity, it suits me so well. Oh, I’ve been dreaming about this for so long… Well, no, no. Then at least give me this vest
“All right, wrap it up
This works because we tend to feel uncomfortable when a person makes a concession to us-giving up their positions for us. And we restore justice by making mutual concessions.
The protection is the same as for mutual exchange. Identify the manipulation and understand that we don’t have to do anything.
Commitment and consistency
We strive to be consistent and look good in the eyes of others. This is the hook they use to catch us.
– Ivan Semyonovich, a short opinion poll. Three questions literally. Can you spare me a minute?
– Let’s (Make a small commitment)
— So, male gender, age… under fifty?”
“Yes, up to fifty.”
— Thank You. How would you rate your earnings: low, average, above average, high?
— Above the average. (Now we will act as if we have extra money.)
— That’s great. How do you feel about helping children? Good or bad?
“Hmmm… Good attitude.”
— Did you know that many businessmen in your industry take patronage of orphanages and help children? (The trap is closed)I represent the children’s aid Fund…
When we realize that we have been tricked, at first it seems as if we have two options:
The first is to reject everything that has been said before and show how inconsistent and dishonest we are. We don’t want that.
The second is to agree to the opponent’s terms and get out of an unpleasant situation with dignity. This is exactly what the opponent wants.
But there is also a third option — to open the manipulation:
– Anya, you see, your poll is not a poll at all. You use questions to make it difficult for me to refuse you. We both understand that. Would you like someone to manipulate you in the same way?
It is extremely difficult for us to cross society. Conversely, when we don’t know exactly what to do, we look back at others and sincerely accept their behavior as correct.
This is an inconvenient truth, and sellers are happy to use it.
— This model is well taken. No, there were no complaints. Yes, we sold a hundred pieces yesterday.
— Yesterday a man came to me, also chose this vacuum cleaner. Today I called and asked to postpone another one for a friend. This isn’t for you, is it?
— Every third house in America has one.
If you feel that you are “vparivayut” something wrong on the basis of social evidence, question the proof:
— How much does it cost per day?”
— What did the man buy for?” And how did a friend arrive today?
— And where do you get such data on America? I read that this company is the fifteenth in the US in its category. (It doesn’t matter that it’s not true. Let the seller justify himself)
And now watch the social evidence crumble before your eyes.
We underestimate the power of sympathy. It doesn’t matter if a person is attractive in appearance, or if we are captivated by their voice, smell, or some special facial features, or if we love a person simply because they love us-we are already trapped in sympathy. We are helpless when we are flattered or even praised on merit. And we are often ready to do everything not to disappoint the person we like.
Sympathy is good as long as you are not manipulated on this basis. Therefore, when a beautiful smart salesperson (or a stunning virgin) looks you in the eye and offers to make a decision as soon as possible, take a pause. The seller is not going anywhere, but you need to think about it.
Eliminate the seller’s influence and think about the product itself. That’s enough to keep you from doing anything stupid.
Obedience and trust in authority
Someone else’s authority changes our behavior more often than it seems. We don’t just blindly buy medicines that a doctor has prescribed. If we don’t understand computers, the computer consultant is an authority for us. In a new restaurant, the waiter can be an authority on the chef’s successful and unsuccessful dishes.
Sometimes, a person is really well versed in their field. And often it is really on your side. But if your heart tells you that you are being “bred” by the pressure of authority, check the paper:
Ask the expert to write their recommendations on paper. Like, you do not understand anything, but your son (friend, colleague, son-in-law) understands this better, and he will be very offended if you do not consult him. Now look at the reaction: if the opponent starts to cheat and tries to push you to buy right now, it means that he is afraid of exposure. Oh, sly.
The principle of scarcity
To put a price on something or push it to buy, sellers start simulating a deficit.
“Look, yesterday we had forty of them, today we have two. Most likely, in the next delivery it will not be, but there will be a more expensive model. So decide, watch…
– Oh, sorry, this model is the last, and I wrote it out for delivery for another couple half an hour ago. Did you like it? Are you satisfied with the price? Would you take it? It’s a pity we don’t have any more. However, look, I can talk to the Manager, maybe we can come up with something… Yes, we just delivered one today. Let’s get it straight to you.
But the case was specifically with me:
– Hello, this is Alevtina from the company “Bad service and inflated prices”. Have you made a decision?
— What’s the solution? (Make me feel uncomfortable that I didn’t solve something there)
— I sent you an offer about our new year’s campaign
— I don’t remember that
— The bottom line is that we’re… blah, blah, blah… half the price if you extend your contract for a year until February 1.”
— (The call was on January 27) That is, I have 3 days to think, it turns out?
— Yes, but since Bank payments take two days, it is better to do everything for today, tomorrow at most. Am I invoicing at a 50% discount?
This is also a deficit, but a time deficit. “Come on,” they say, ” hurry up, or you will lose this discount.”
When someone creates a deficit, they play on your need to buy something or your fear of losing something. Pull the ground out from under the manipulator’s feet:
— I’m sure this isn’t the last one in town.”
“Oh, no, we’re just looking. To buy? No, of course, we don’t make such decisions in the store. We’ll think about it.
— Alevtina, unfortunately, I am not ready to make a decision on the extension so quickly. I would like to first look at the proposals of other companies in your industry. Yes, I am considering this option, because the quality of your work was, strictly speaking, on the top three.
Thousands of them
And this is just the beginning. Cialdini’s book is already a classic of selling manipulations, while every day at secret trainings and seminars warlocks teach sellers to break our will in new, more sophisticated ways. This is a fact of life, and all we can do is be prepared for it.
More on the topic: a long list of methods of manipulation in disputes.
A minute of ideology
Manipulation is bad. It’s not even about the actions and words themselves (they are just harmless in themselves), but in the initial position relative to the client.
If the seller loves his job and sincerely tries to help customers, he will always have people, they will always come to him again, he will never be out of work.
If the seller is looking for how to fool a stupid customer, sell him more and more expensive — this is short-sighted. No matter how subtly you manipulate the client. He will always find out that he was cheated, and will never come back. There’s nothing more to talk about.