A bad head does not give your hands peace of mind
Body language is a very important part of any communication. The position of our body and the movements we make when communicating with the other person can spoil or distort the perception of any of our words.
Understanding this, it seems logical for us to just make an effort and focus our attention on controlling our own body. However, it is worth considering that among all the bad habits, those that are associated with” wrong ” body language are the most difficult to root out.
We are so used to slouching, averting our eyes, and crossing our arms for no reason at all, that we usually don’t even notice it.
Here are a few mistakes in gestures and facial expressions that are not easy to get rid of. But you will be grateful to yourself if you do succeed.
If you are used to fuss nervously, it will not be easy to get rid of it.
“When you fuss, you show nervousness and lack of strength, “says body language expert and author of the book” the Power of body language ” Tonya Reiman.
Therefore, it is very important to make an effort to control this bad habit.
Playing with your hair
Where to put your hands? Constantly pull them to the head and wind strands of hair on your finger? First of all, it looks quite strange from the outside. Secondly, it really distracts from the topic of conversation. In addition, your habit of spoiling your hair will eventually injure your hair. So leave your hair alone!
Take defensive poses
Crossed arms are considered to be an attempt to protect themselves from the surrounding reality. However, for many people, this is just a comfortable and natural pose that they take simply because they don’t know where else to put their hands.
However, even if this is not very fair, any defensive posture plays against you. Tightness and crossed limbs treacherously make you look unconvincing, defensive, and untrustworthy.
In addition, “you should always keep your hands in sight during a conversation,” says Patti wood, another body language expert. — When the interlocutor does not see your hands, he begins to think that you are hiding something.”
Strange or excessive gestures
To gesture or not? Some people remain as calm as elephants while talking, while others spin like spindles and wave their arms like windmills.
Of course, in this case, the style of behavior is determined primarily by temperament.
Meanwhile, experts believe that using gestures is the most effective way to attract the audience’s attention to what you want to convey to them. But it is important to learn to avoid gestures that compromise you.
Don’t point your finger.
Don’t pretend to be conducting an orchestra.
And no choreography!
People are creatures prone to criticism, sometimes excessive. We think that we can understand a lot about the person we are talking to based only on the way they walk.
According to statistics (though not domestic, but British), even the risk of being robbed depends on how we walk down the street.
Changing your walking style to a confident and coordinated one may not be easy, but it is important. You should not go through life with a shuffling gait.
Forget to smile
We in Russia do not just tend to underestimate the power of a smile, but consider an unfounded smile a sign of cunning and insincerity, and even take pride in the fact that we go and communicate with clients without changing the stony expression on our face.
We say “duty smile”, meaning something unreal, worthy only of blame. Social politeness is not our strong suit at all.
Meanwhile, everyone appreciates a smile. Therefore, when you smile sincerely, in our beautiful country, you sometimes get more advantages than anyone else.
Try it and see for yourself (no,no, we do not encourage you to smile at the whole mouth of gloomy guys who ask you to smoke on the working outskirts of somewhere in Perm or Volgograd).
A relaxed smile is not just a sign of friendliness (which is not bad in itself). When you smile, you show confidence, openness, warmth and energy.
In addition, your smile works like a mirror, making the listener smile back. And without a smile, you look too dark and distant.
Pointedly distracted by extraneous things
There’s nothing more annoying than talking to someone who obviously doesn’t pay enough attention to you.
Some people may actually be distracted for a good reason or be too busy to focus only on the current conversation.
But most often, the desire to check your email, or messenger, or just a Facebook feed arises out of the blue. And in fact, we are all able to catch this impulse and hold back while we are surrounded by other people.
Because otherwise we seem to be just rude and inconsiderate.
Straighten up! Poor posture is too easy to earn, especially if you spend most of the day hanging over your Desk.
The habit of slouching not only makes us look insecure, but is also extremely harmful to the back. Hence the double benefit of eliminating it: taking care of your own health and quality of life, plus improving your image in the eyes of others.
Don’t make eye contact or do it too aggressively
This is one of the main pitfalls that mindfulness and moderation help you avoid. The author of “What your body says”, Sharon Sayler, believes that the perfect eye-to-eye contact is a series of fairly long glances, but not a game of peepers.
If you stare into someone’s eyes and don’t look away for too long, you make them feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, trying to avoid eye-to-eye contact is an indicator of uncertainty and even disgust.
You remain too calm
Of course, this is no worse than starting on emotions, wantonly gesticulating, spinning around and scaring the interlocutor with attempts to make faces during business negotiations.
However, you should not be like a stone idol, otherwise it may seem to your interlocutors that you are not interested in what they want to convey to you.
In this case, it is optimal to “mirror” the interlocutor. Not in the sense of completely copying his facial expressions and gestures — this can offend anyone-but carefully repeating the most important ones, maintaining the same level of expression.
Thanks to competent “mirroring” you will seem more positive and convincing.
Changing your stony expression and making your movements natural can be difficult, especially if you are not overly expressive and emotional by nature, but it’s worth it.